she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize