Kiss
Puke
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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