Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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