i can't believe i had my finger in that
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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