Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just made my gag reflex go away.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
