but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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