By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
