You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
