I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
