my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
