Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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