i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
