did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
