so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
