He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
