Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize