Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
