We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i've created a new STD.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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