Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
