Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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