There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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