I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
