An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize