My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
