Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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