Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
