How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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