If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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