So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
