We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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