Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
