I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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