also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
