How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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