i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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