think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
