Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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