The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
