Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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