How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
