My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
