Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
