I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
