you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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