dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
