So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
