Three words: puerto rican gang bang
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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