That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
