he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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