Duck Duck Cougar?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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