just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
