Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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