Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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