Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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