shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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