The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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