You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
