I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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