He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
