just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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