Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
